In January 2025 I chose to take the Five Mindfulness Trainings as the culmination of our five night Family Camp at Deer Park Monastery. At first I was confused as to what this was all about. I thought the trainings were like some workplace HR thing that I’d click through on my computer. We learned later in our Dharma sharing group that it came down to a set of five “soft” precepts with a ceremony to signify our commitment to at least one of them. I say soft because it is not prescriptive, there is no punishment for lapsing, and it is more of a North Star set of suggestions. These can be considered the TLDR of all the sutras, the MVP for lay people to start on the path. Order of Interbeing members have 14 commitments, novice monastics have some 200.
Once there, the training felt more ceremonial, with lots of reciting, bowing, and prostration with the monastics and sangha present. To be honest, I felt the ritual aspect to be a bit much-- esoteric and I was getting tired of all the prostrating. Though I will say taking part in tradition tracing back some thousands of years did give me a feeling of being part of something larger than myself, which was humbling and gratifying for sure.
It’s been 90 days (6 months as of publishing this post) since receiving the transmission, and I wanted to reflect on how the trainings have changed my behavior. I’m listing them in the order that I feel they've changed my life to date, rather than the order in which they’re numbered.
Mindful Consumption
Digital: This training, along with Sister D’s dharma talks, have changed my relationship with screen time and digital content. For one, I have quit Reddit cold turkey. We’re talking about me spending several hours/day mindlessly scrolling on Reddit, to zero. I keep my phone outside of the bedroom— it charges in a closet. I’ve decluttered and desaturated the color, making a simpler, more boring device. I was using the phone as an escape; it was a holdover from when I resented the hours spent hours putting the girls to sleep; I would scroll mindlessly, depending on the the phone for escape, while the girls would depend on me. I don’t have historical screen time metrics, but I can say confidently that I’ve reclaimed at least 15 hours per week of my life.
Drugs & Alcohol: I write about this in another post titled California Sober. TLDR I’m not an absolutist about sobriety. I've cut alcohol almost completely and continue to use marijuana/mushrooms occasionally. I do aspire to eventually approach zero, but I am at peace with my current level of usage.
Food and meat: I’ll touch on this in the “Respect for life” training next, but I will say I eat much more healthily now. This has been driven by slowing down — pausing before eating, chewing slowly, and being mindful of multitasking and phone usage while eating. I take a moment to check in with myself about how full I am. The noble silence during meals left an impression. It’s not like I wasn’t doing bad before, but without much effort, energy or struggle, I’ve dropped a few pounds.
Respect for Life
Tied to mindful consumption, I’d estimate that I’ve cut my meat consumption by at least 75%. I don’t think I’ll get to 0%, but the awareness that suffering was a precondition for me to be able to enjoy flesh, has been a strong mindfulness. I still love a nice BBQ, but the thought of eating a purely carnivore diet feels unappealing to me now.
True Love
I won’t mince words — I had a problem with consuming pornography. Along with mindful consumption, this training has curbed my use of porn 100%. This has directly impacted my intimacy and relationship with Julie.
Loving Speech and Deep Listening
This one is the hardest to improve, yet one I stand to benefit from the most. I will expand on this in another future post.
Generosity
I have become more aware of the contradiction of our times; there is such abundance yet our society has conditioned us to feel such scarcity. I'd like to explore this duality of abundance and scarcity in another post. I try to practice greater generosity with my spirit but have been looking to donate more financially and involvement to causes I support.
I received a Dharma Name, which I embrace: Authentic Realization of the Source
